I never posted a response to our class on Nov. 11, when we talked about Redefining Realness and watched Butch Mystique. Getting to hear much of the intimate side of transitioning was interesting to me, because last year, my close friend was going through a lot of internal conflict as to how she wanted to define herself. For her, it wasn’t about being uncomfortable with her body (although she does prefer to bind), rather, she didn’t feel in accordance with the societal expectations and limitations placed on her because they saw her as a ‘she.’ I’m still using the feminine pronoun because she still has not decided on whether or not she would like to switch. She doesn’t identify as male, either, so she doesn’t want to begin going by ‘he,’ and she doesn’t feel like gender-neutral pronouns are at a place where she would feel comfortable using them to identify. Essentially, she doesn’t feel right when people refer to her as a ‘she,’ but she doesn’t want to feel equally uncomfortable having to continuously correct and convince people of its usage. Family support is instrumental in this, because she feels as though her parents would never support her transition to being gender neutral, and doesn’t want to lose their favor. She is an Asian-American, and due to her recent change in wardrobe and hairstyle, she has been getting a lot of “are you a boy or a girl?” from younger kids, and a lot of looks that say the same thing, from adults. At this stage in her life, she finds it easier to continue navigating as a ‘she,’ while she experiments with clothing and hair. She also talked to me about getting on testosterone injections, but she has also decided to wait on these because of their cost and irreversible effects. I suggested this read to her and hope she actually reads it, though the stories are clearly quite different. I don’t know where I really wanted to go with this post, other than share all this food for thought.