The Trials of Motherhood

Watching Lackawanna Blues was such a tear jerking and thought provoking experience. The movie really shows what community mothering is all about – a woman who has nothing to her name except for the love she is willing to give, takes in misfits and gives them the love and space that they need to become better individuals. Although it’s just a movie, I know that somewhere in the poverty stricken neighborhoods that there are women out there doing something equivalent to what Ms. Rachel “Nanny” did for the characters in the movie. The social workers who came into Ms. Rachel’s house saw her as a bad mother because she allowed for a little boy to live in an environment surrounded by criminals, alcohol and violence, but Nanny was just the opposite. She rescued Ruben “Junior” from a mother who was not in a correct mental and emotional state to take care of him. The same thing happens in our society; there are many single mothers who are trying their best to work to get money to put food on the table, a roof over the children’s head and clothes on their back; unfortunately, a society dominated by Whites sees them as bad mothers because they leave the child unattended for a few hours due to circumstance out of their control and takes their children away from them.

I am very torn on the idea of taking children away from their mothers and putting them for adoption. Growing up, there were times when I would look at the house phone and contemplate calling 911 but the thought of the foster system scared me enough to just keep my peace and endure whatever came. There were times when the thought of me being adopted and my real family would come were thoughts that allowed me to sleep peacefully at night. I look at adoption not from the mother’s point of view but from the child’s point of view which complicates the way I view transracial adoption. I thought that as long as the child moved on to a better home and life situation that the pain that came from the family separation will eventually heal. I did not view transracial adoption from a feminist point of view but after reading “Transracial Adoption: Mothers, Hierarchy, Race, and Feminist Legal Theory by Twila L. Perry, I will now remember to consider the mom’s point of view when I think about adoption. Even since being a teenager I have contemplated adopting instead of having my own child. I do not know what race my future adopted child will be but at least I will try to not only teach him/her my culture but the culture of his/her race. This is all a jumbled mess of words because my mind is a jumbled mess as the new information that I learned is trying to find a home in my old mindset.

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